Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
