I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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