Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize