plz talk dirty to me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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