Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
