yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
