didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
