I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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