so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
