Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
