i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's blow job season.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
