...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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