I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
