I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
