Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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