My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
