thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
