Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm really into asian looking animals
I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
