I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
