Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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