you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
