I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
