I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm like, not good at living.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
