If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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