I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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