if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
