But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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