Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
