just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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