I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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