Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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