6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
