Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i jhust puked up my retainher.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
