He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
