i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
me + whiskey = a bad person
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So vagazzling was a success
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
