just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize