I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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