Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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