I must be too annoying 4 u.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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