Capitaan dildo arrescate!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
