We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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