i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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