I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
