but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
