I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
