I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
