I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
