in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
tell me about the eggs
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
