I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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