...so i touched it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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