Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
