I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize