This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
