The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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