Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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