Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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