we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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