This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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