So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
