So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
