I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
