did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
