can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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