Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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