In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
